 Affliction comes. Sometimes darn hard. It comes up from behind --the yellowbelly -- grabs you up like a feather, and slams you greedily to the mat knocking your wind to smithereens, and giving you a hurt that won't quit. Some of you know this has been our summer of mat slamming affliction. It began in late May with our oldest daughter Eslie contracting mononucleosis, and was quickly followed two weeks later with Tricia becoming dinner for a Deer tick that left a little thank you note in the form of Lyme Disease. We were reeling for a minute there, more than a minute actually, considerably more. Eslie was down, exhausted and hurting right at the time in the school calendar when things need to be finished up, finals taken, papers handed in, etc. She was listless and getting depressed over another seeming setback. Tricia was just miserable: in great pain all over, her head was exploding (lasted 3 weeks); she was exhausted and feverish, plus her mind would not work. Scary. Those little devils burrowing under her skin were trying to take over like some horde of barbarians, and they meant business. We had to let all the people she was ministering to know that she was not going to be available for who knows how long. They would have access to the "second-string," namely me, to fill in the gap, but her work had to be laid aside indefinitely. Time to grab hold of God's pant leg and not let go for all of us! Spiritually it felt as if the adversary had dispatched one of his vile schemes to discourage, derail, and deter. Tricia was felled in battle. Up to that point she had been doing some remarkable things under the Holy Spirit freeing some captives from the control of old Slewfoot. She was pushing back the darkness in new ways. BOOM. She takes a big hit, and becomes a casualty for real. God, the reigning Sovereign Majesty came to our aid. Much prayer flooded the heavenlies, antibiotics searched out the little buggers in her body and cut 'em down without mercy, meals were sent, a dear sister kept the CFR clean. Rest was given and rest was received: 3 1/2 weeks in bed cared for by family and friends, 10 days on the Connecticut shore courtesy of two wonderful saints from church, 3 weeks at the Jersey shore with family. Eslie seems back to full steam. She had a wonderful, musically fulfilling time at Jazz Camp in late July - early August. She is trying to finish the schoolwork she needs in order to begin her senior year fresh. Tricia has begun to counsel a few clients, a few days per week. We are going slowly, and will stay that way until she wants otherwise. She will be going to Nashville in mid-September for 10 days to lead 2 women's retreats, see clients and speak to another women's group. Ambitious, perhaps, but she is gaining back gradually what she lost. Thank you for praying and helping! War kills and maims. Spiritual war is no different really. There are human casualties. The fight is for souls and sometimes bodies. We see the battle still to be fought, and remain willing to fight as long as our Lord asks it of us. The summer brought affliction and struggle, but Jesus also sent singular pleasures: jazz by the sea at Avery Point and on the lawn at Litchfield, boating on Long Island Sound with Bob Durbois, a new administrative assistant in Josephine Shay, magnificent art in Ogunquit, Maine, Tuller Farms ice cream, fresh inspiration to write from a new friend , hearing Eslie grow as a singer, faithful brothers making a kitchen and office space at the CFR, a new couch, having Dan with us, laughing out loud at the movies, watching Alyn move inexorably toward becoming a young woman, reading John Piper, buying a new leather journal, eating lobster, seeing Tricia smile again, and on and on....  A conversation recently overheard bet ween a Milk Drinker (new Christian) and a Meat Eater (mature Christian): MILK DRINKER: It's been going OK, actually. Thanks. (pause) Can I ask you something? MEAT EATER: Have at it. That's what I'm here for. MILK DRINKER: Do you have joy? Aren't Christians supposed to have all kinds of joy because of what Jesus has done for us? I guess I don't get it cuz joy is not very easy to have. It doesn't just show up all the time. I look around me, and I don't see much of it in other Christians either. At least, what I think joy ought to loots Like. What am I missing? MEAT EATER: Phew! That's a tough one. Not because joy is so mysterious or hard to pin down. It isn't. But it is hard to live. I mean you have to choose to be joyful in everything, not just the happy stuff, when life is good. You have to stand hard in joy when it's all falling apart, or the hurt is more than you think you can put up with. MILK DRINKER: I don't know. It's like.... who has it so together to do that? It impossible to be joyful when you are afraid or are hurting. Isn't it? MEAT EATER: Yeah, it seems so for many of us. It's even hard to be joyful when things are just going along, you know, normally. But, something being hard doesn't mean impossible. Especially with Gods amazing grace making a way. And I know there are some things you can do to learn joy as a way of living. MILK DRINKER: Really? MEAT EATER: Really. Say, for instance, doing what we've talked about when it comes to spending all day in God's presence no matter where you are. Remember? You know, that stuff about listening to God's voice and seeing Him in even the most ordinary things? When you do that you start seeing how near and involved He is in your life, and you start to feel peace. Joy is never far from peace. MILK DRINKER: Hmmm. Well, I still have a ways to go with the listening, but I can see how it might change the way I see things in my life. MEAT EATER:: Not only that, but the nearer you are to God, the more you begin to get that He really is tender and affectionate toward you. And He doesn't quit, even when you're being a snot or a jerk. He is relentless, and when you really let that get ahold of you. in other words, you begin to live as if it is true, joy starts to bubble up. It has to because love and joy are kinfolk. MILK DRINKER I getcha. MEAT EATER:: Then, as you really surrender to the truth that God's love for you is relentless, even if He must express it through discipline, you can say with King David that He is your "joy and delight." You can't say with deep feeling that God is your delight unless you have begun to live in the lifestyle of joy. There are so many other shiny delights in this world to steal the heart away. Joy is a habit of choice in response to being loved well by ABBA Father. To delight in God is to say: He is my pleasure. He is my happiness. He is my fascination. I am my Belovedıs and He is mine. MILK DRINKER: Man, am I far away from that! Will I ever get there? I'm doing about as well as I can just trying to build my faith and trust. Just trying to learn all this stuff.v MEAT EATER: I know. It all seems a Little overwhelming, but if you are open to letting Him come in close, He will teach you joy. If you keep Him at a distance to stay safe, or in control, Heıll keep trying because He wants to give His joy. He can't help but do so. It's part of what He's made of, you know. MILK DRINKER: You said I need to choose to be joyful? MEAT EATER: Yup. But that choice is best made when you have opened yourself up to experiencing the daily love of Jesus. The only way to do that is, again, act as if He does love you, and look for the countless ways He is trying to show you so each day, even if you have a rotten one. The choice to believe His affectionate love apart from how your circumstances play out will lead you on a path to joy. It will take some time, but keep at it and you'll see what I mean. MILK DRINKER: What if it doesn't? MEAT EATER: I have to say that that won't happen if you actually open yourself to the ever present Love of Jesus, and His nearness to you. You will need to choose that many times as life comes at you, but as you do, you will learn to see God's hand, trust His faithfuiness, and be convinced of His love. The joy God has over you will become your way of life in time. Ask Him to make it so for you. Then, follow when He invites you. It'll be soon. An ardent lover wastes little time.  For some of you assiduously keeping track, your April-June KIesIs QuarterIy did not get lost in the mail. You were not scandalously dropped from the mailing list. With all the extra work of handling sick family members, doing extra counseling, and running the ministry, I had little time or energy to write one. Just thought you might like to know. Then again, maybe I am answering a question you were not asking. I do that sometimes.  Grace is the permission and freedom given to you to be yourself in the presence of the Lord, and to know that even in your sinful state, I am is sitting across from you gazing at My beloved. You are able by My grace to know that in your feelings and in your knowing and not knowing, I am here to speak to you, to help you unfold though My Holy Spirit the depth of your being, your neediness, your wants and hindrances in being free to be yourself. That is the self not being driven by willful longing or separated from Me by pain or hurt, but the self that is becoming more of Me: the self not timid or hindered by lies keeping you from deep communion with Me, the self that knows no other place of rest but to be in Me at all times. For grace allows this and demands this. You are not perfecting yourself. I am perfecting you as you dwell in Me and grow in Me. By you knowing who I am and how the Father loves you through the indwelling Holy Spirit. When you feel fear, or frustration, or hurt, or anger I have made myself available by grace to be there with you to reveal how and where to go with it. You and I are not separated by these feelings. I do not just limit communion with you. I am all goodness, love and mercy, and I am with you always in whatever place you are. My goodness can speak to you in these feelings. You are not distant from me. Do not put man's conditionality on Me. I do not have limits to My love. This is a hard thought for you to embrace. But when you begin to receive this as truth and allow it to penetrate your being, you will see and hear Me move you to greater freedom of self. I do not strip you of who you are. I am building and shaping you into more of who you are as the uniquely gifted, cherished child of God you were created to be, the one who is more Christlike, and is moving more into communion with God. This is not something you are performing and staging as if in one act plays. It is something that is a product or fruit of My love growing within you. You begin to see Me and listen to me more. You begin to respond to the voice of Love in you, calling you to listen even more. You do not yield to other voices, but let them fall by the wayside, or off the cliff, never to return. You trust My voice. You see the Holy Spiritıs voice as that of truth. It becomes familiar. You see that other thoughts or "voices" are strongholds, dictating to your identity: an identity that is based in lies and fears about your value. You, through My love, begin to find an identity that says "Amen" to itself. It knows its true value by My love poured out for you, not by others' conditional love toward you. I do not stop pouring Myself out for you. My Love does not separate itself from, or reject you. But you must choose to believe that. The choice is yours. Ever since I have known Tricia, she has found ways of getting alone with God to listen and pray. Sometimes that has meant being up before dawn; sometimes she takes time during the shank of the day to get away with Him, but get away she does. She has said that being in ministry requires more time alone with Him rather than less. What you Just read is a word that she heard from God in July. She wanted to share its encouragement with you. May you be blessed and drawn near the glorious Lover of your soul, Jesus Christ.  Longing Reasons to Shout Praises to God!!!!
Reasons we ask you to pray for us:
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